The First Time I Got Paid For It

I broke my cherry, and it was actually kind of fun; underpaying, but fun. The guest bartending gig went well, for the most part, and I had a good time. It was pretty much what I expected it would be; the people were cool, for the most part and the money was little.

I arrived at the midtown bar right on time, despite the fact that I had to walk about ten blocks in the hot August sun wearing an entirely black outfit. Sweating like a roasting pig, I met the manager, looked over the price list and was behind the bar before knew it. The first couple of drink orders were a complete mystery to me and I had to enlist the help of one of the house bartenders. I didn’t know the drinks because I had never heard of the liquors before, but I expect that’s some thing that comes with never having bartended before.

After all that things began to run much smoother. The bar was running a two for one happy hour special and, to my surprise, I actually handled it well. On “regular” tried some shit after paying me with a drink ticket, saying that I took her ticket from her off the bar without giving her the drink. This was, to put it gently, complete and utter bullshit. I did in fact pour her two glasses of wine over the course of two hours, and she paid me for one and gave me – handed me – a ticket for the second. I don’t know if she was drunk or just trying to pull some shit, but the staff at the place got my back and just gave her a ticket to shut her up.

I suppose this sort of thing happens all the time in bars; some drunkard claiming that they paid with a twenty when they paid with a ten or something. I don’t know, I guess it’s a part of the job. This is probably the only thing that I don’t miss about retail that I’ll be encountering on the front lines.

Anyway, after a while my friends started showing up and buying drinks ensued. They purchased many a fine beverage from me and grossly over-tipped. I wish they hadn’t since we were splitting tips, but I really appreciated the thoughts behind it all. I started sweet talking other patrons and was also pulling in larger tips from them as well. Looking back I realize that I was quite possibly the best earner in the place (not to brag or anything).

One guy started a tab and ordered two drinks. He came back later and tried to close it, and the manager informed him that his two drinks didn’t cover the twenty five dollar minimum for tabs. It was priceless. The guy began buying drinks for everyone around him. People he didn’t even know were bought drinks. He even bought drinks for all the females in the group that came out for me. It was funny to watch him turn to strangers and ask what they were drinking and then turn to us and say “Get her another Cosmo, and get him another Miller Light, and get her…”

I was complimented on my Cosmopolitan making abilities, by the way.

I stretched the three hour shift into a four hour shift since I started early and finished right on time. I was told that I would be drinking for free the rest of the night and even did a free shot of Maker’s Mark with the owner. After hanging with some of my friends who came out for the gig and smoking several cigarettes (out side, of course) I was given my share of the tips – fifty bucks. A little light, in my opinion, but needed and appreciated none-the-less.

The night was filled out with hitting another bar, which I did under protest since I was drinking for free, and topped off with a visit to my chain of burrito shops San Loco.

All in all, it was a good experience. The people at the place were great and I had some fun. I look forward to working there again if I can. It helped having my first time behind a bar coming off so well. My estimations were correct; I liked it a lot.

On Counting Your Chickens…

OK, so it looks like the PGA thing is going to suck, big-time. I left for the orientation armed with what I thought were good directions. After two hours, driving the same two highways over and over again (and getting lost in Newark) I arrived at the orientation… forty five minutes late. I got very lost, to say the least. The funny thing is that I began to panic; thinking that I had blown my spot and that I’d be turned away at the door or something. The thought of having messed up my chance at all that money was nerve rattling.

The woman giving the orientation was already in full swing when I arrived and I was sure that I missed everything of any relevance. I snuck into the back and begin to take notes on all the requirements we have to meet for this gig. It turns out that I didn’t miss much at all - in fact, it would have probably been better that I had missed it altogether.

This is a chump gig. Ten dollars an hour and we’re not supposed to accept tips. Now, I know as a writer I should be able to articulate a colorful, yet succinct phrase that will clearly express my feelings in an almost poetic fashion. I have, of course, a phrase that indeed fits all the afore-mentioned criteria:

What the fuck is that shit?

They want Tavern On The Green at McDonald’s prices. It was high comedy to see the woman doing the orientation say that they contacted bars and bartending schools in the area to research the wage for bartenders and that ten dollars an hour, without tips, was “very good.” It’s my understanding that they needed one hundred bartenders and have fallen very short – I wonder why.

Well, I’ve resolved to accept all tips offered. I’m a professional – albeit a new and unemployed professional – but a professional none-the-less and I expect to be paid as such. I will be working my ass off and I don’t think I’m out of line to want the proper, customary payment. Truth-be-told, I think that they expect us to take tips since they did say that if the customer “insists” then we are allowed to accept their tips, but that we should do so quietly.

This does go against my normal philosophy towards following my employer’s guidelines and requests, but I do have to look out for the dynamic uno. The reality is that we have a situation were the involved parties are desperate; they need bartenders and I need money – they can’t pay more, I can’t take less. It looks like they see this as well so they sort of said, without saying, that they’ll look the other way… well, that’s how I’ll interpret it, anyway.

When I got home I had an interesting conversation with the little lady. She suggested my finding a day job. Bartending is my mission right now and it I did go for a day job, I wouldn’t be able to interview for bartender positions during the day. I can’t blame her, I mean; I am unemployed and pretty much out of cash. While I see her point, I can’t help but think about how things like this always happen. It’s the same old story; it’s as old as mankind itself. When you try to do something that doesn’t fit everyone else’s plan, they try to dissuade you from it. Columbus didn’t discover America by listening to the conventional wisdom of the time. I know it’s not nearly the same scale, but this is something I want to do and have wanted to do for a long time. I wouldn’t call it a dream or anything, but I’ve always thought was a good idea and I need to see if it is for myself.

I just can’t ignore the fact that every former bartender I know speaks of bartending fondly and with a longing in their tone as if to say “I wish I was still at it.” Actually, some of they really do say that they wish they were still at it. Ya can’t argue with that, can you?

I Never Thought I’d Use This Stuff After Graduation

A few days ago, it occurred to me that my PGA gig might require upgrading my she-she drink knowledge considerably. When I was learning the craft of bartending I figured that I’d get my regular bartending chops down in a typical New York bar first and build my knowledge of the finer points later; after all, my goal is to be a complete bartender at the end of this. Now with this coming up, I fear an endless line of wealthy golf fans, dismayed by my lack of knowledge of such things as Kirs, Champagne Cocktails, and Old Fashions – drinks that I never paid much mind to, because I thought they wouldn’t come up this soon.

I know that I’ve gone off on bartenders not knowing drinks already. I know this puts me in that category – at least I have an excuse. I can’t learn it all at once; I want to get as much as I can down as second nature and build off of that as I work.

I’ve started a notebook that I plan to cram with various bits and pieces of bartending knowledge as I go. I know that there’s a lot to learn, and I plan to pick up as much as I can. I always look for the intricacies in any job I take. I find it makes things easier if you get them down right away. I don’t want to struggle with basics when I could be earning.

Speaking of earning, I learned that my guest bartending gig will be a short one. Six to nine PM. I feel a bit embarrassed having invited several friends out to the gig. I figure that everybody will miss me by at least an hour or two. The website for the place says that happy hour is from four to seven; at least I’ll be able to get a piece of that action. I really don’t expect to make much off this one, but if I can catch a few bucks I guess I can’t complain.
Today I’ll be getting orientation for the PGA gig. I suppose I’ll get the info on the type of environment I’ll be working in. Hopefully it’ll be more informative and less bureaucratic. I’d rather pick up what I need to do a good job than spend a few hours filling out paperwork. My job’s behind the bar, not in the office.